The Spiral Descending Staircase

I am so sorry dear lady
I cannot be strong like you
That's what I always admire about you
Your ability to come back from the pain
There is no way I will ever be the same
No way I can ever trust and care
I have always thought I was

Ascending the spiral staircase
I was never ascending

Only falling into oblivion
As the panic and pain set in

I can feel my face pale
I can feel the blood

The pain will cease
Soon I will not know pain

Nor will I cherish joy
I will be a person dead inside
Dead inside but free of pain

Free of frustration

Free of effort
While I am not much

I can say I have been me
I will always be me
Who I am is insignificant

My love never has been

And never will be
I will be buried

In an avalanche

Of empty tears
Who you are

Will always be dear to me
Will be buried with me
I am so sorry

I could never be more for you

Or for myself
That's my fate

I could never juggle dreams
I am going now to sleep
My dreams will be of you

The dreams that will never come true
Dreams of laughter and tenderness